Pastor Rapes Woman While having Spiritual Bath

We women should be mindful of the churches we go to. it is important we seek the face of our Lord but it is also vital  to know that not all men God are called by the Lord.

There have been cases of women and men taken advantage of due to their challenges in life and seek a church to seek help from the Lord through the pastor instead they take advantage of the man or woman that is already down.

Let us be mindful that,as it is written in the Bible that "by their fruits you shall know them.'How can Pastor take advantage of a woman who came to him ....... Do not be deceived by these wolves in sheep clothing.

This story was culled from the Vanguard newspaper and this incident happened just last year at Abeokuta.The story as written below.

A 46 year -old Pastor Olamide Sobowale,of Glory Church of Christ Aladura, Oke -Itoku,Abeokuta Ogun State,has been ordered to be remanded in prison for allegedly raping a woman while bathing in his church backyard.

Pastor Sobowale ,who was arraigned before a Magistrate Court sitting in Isabo ,Abeokuta,was accused of rapping one Dupe Makinde,30 ,who lives in Isaje,Abeokuta,while taking a spiritual bath allegedlly recommended by the pastor. 

The prosecuting counsel,Paul Etusi,told the court that the accuses grabbed the complaint while she was in the bathroom with in the church premises and raped her. 

Etusi said the complaint had already put the soap on her face as she began bathing  when the pastor suddenly entered the bathroom,grabbed her and raped with the soap on her face

According to Etusi ,the accused had told Mrs Makinde that he had  a vision about her and asked her to come for deliverance in his church.He said ,"he asked the woman to the church to take spiritual bath  for her deliverance,but while the complaint was taking her bath,the accused barged into the bathroom,grabbed the woman and raped her. 

"The accused has committed an offence contrary to section 357 and punishable under section 358 of the criminal code of law of Ogun State,Nigeria,2006 .Magistrate A.Araba after listening to the prosecutor counsel,ordered that the accused be remanded in prison till he gets advice from the Director of Public Prosecution and adjourned the case .

This kind of incident happens everyday  and there are other experiences but most go unreported and gets swept  under the carpet when they are . However it is not that they do not have great Men of God who are actually called but the bad eggs are soiling the reputable names .
Finally , I plead with both men and women to please be careful of the churches they attend..

Ways to Attract Your Husband

The days of being the modest old fashioned stoic wife was in the past. Due to the trend of today's generation,we the ladies are mindful of how our dear husbands look at us,as much as we are dutiful mothers and wives ,we also have to strike a balance between the old and the new trend to suit our generation of men.

Below are the following ways to attract our Husbands, so lets switch on our light bulb of sex appeal :

• Confidence:  Men love it when their women exude confidence ,with high self esteem it always brings a smile when his wife is admired by others.A woman who has confidence, trusts' her man and does not feel insecure when he is talking to a beautiful woman at a party. 
• Neatness: Its not okay when we let ourselves go and not take a bath early in the morning and late at night before going to bed.We need to smell nice for our man at all times ,not sweaty and stinky .Some women with body odour also bless people with the natural "fragrance" of their body which could be  a huge turn off when the husband when he sees strangers acting strange through their body language and avoiding the wife. So lets be neat by keeping our homes clean and take to being more conscious of our personal hygiene in every ramification. It is a huge turn on when your husband sees you smelling nice .
• Be Caring:  Being attentive to your husband is one sole attribute that when its withdrawn causes a rift between spouses.It gives a man joy to see and know that his wife cares for him.It attracts her to him more because he knows that he is loved.
• Be his friend: Do not judge your man when he makes mistakes and he is remorseful and apologizes,accept and let it go.Be there to console  him and cheer him up when he is feeling down.He will appreciate you and love you more.
• Be a Fashionista: Being a fahionista does not mean you should wear expensive designer labels of clothes or jewelries,no it simply means that you can be trendy in a simple neat way and still look nice and attractive to him.We all know that sexy item that we have got that makes us irresistible to our man.In the days of old, our mothers wore wrappers across their chest and our fathers tied wrapper around their waist ,to them that was sexy . So we all know what works for our spouses , if its a pair of nice fitted leggings ,shorts,gown ,jeans etc. Being well dressed makes our husbands attracted to us and boost our confidence as well.
• Wear make up: You do not have to be loud with your make up but use the eye liner,lipstick/lip gloss, mascara to high light your facial features and enhance your look.
• Maintain your shape: Being in shape is very vital.Men have different taste in women that is why we are all wonderfully made to suit the specifics of a given man. Maintaining what attracted your man to you is important,as it keeps your marriage,relationship and love alive and spicy 
• Do not be the town's voice-Gossip: Most women are guilty of being gossips but some carry it a notch further by being the town's voice .Such women are known to be quite knowledgeable about what is happening in their immediate environment.Making other people's business their business in a negative way.It is not an attractive attribute to have and it makes a woman less attractive to her man.
• Do Not Nag: This is a very dicey one as its difficult. When a woman has been hurt by her man, it is better to take some time and think about the situation and how to address it.It is not ideal to talk about  it repeatedly and aggressively because you are trying to get your man's attention ,as its a huge turn off for men. The best approach is to pick a quiet time to talk to him with gentility.
• Be Spiritual: Men love it when their woman is prayerful,it is a very attractive quality as it means that she is God fearing and there is some one to intercede on his behalf to the Father.You know there are some men who love God but do not go to church because they believe their wife is representing them.
• Be Adventurous in Bed : This is the physical way the man and woman expresses their feelings for one another with their body.The man expresses his desire for sex as frequently as possible and we refuse to yield because we are tired,if we do not yield to them ,they will go and get the action they need somewhere else . Do not complain because you gave him a reason to be unfaithful to you. If you are very tired you can make a promise that you will make it up to him in the morning or the nearest time in the future, it will give him something to look forward to. Flirt with your man when you want him do not assume the conservative notion that he should only be the one to make the move on you.Seek him out even though you do not have sex ,it shows that you desire to be with him and that is healthy for your relationship and future as Man and wife. 

  Dear UNDHW do you agree?

What To Do Before Marriage

Tempers flare up at the slightest opportunities for couples whose tolerance for one another has fallen short,not willing to settle and address the bone of contention between them, the idea of  divorce will  seem more appealing t them.

Thereby making others who are yet to tie the knot apprehensive about walking down the aisle.However by comprehending what it entails to be married and expressing one's expectations to the partner , both of them will be aware and make their decision to get married on not.

The following below entails what they could expect in a marriage

1. There will be disagreements: Its paramount to know that couples will always have disagreements. They have disagreements to agree with each other later and  to understand themselves better.
2. Address your challenges : Its vital that the couple talk about what they expect from their marriage,they should make a list of what could make the marriage fail and a list of what they want in the marriage.They should clearly define how they intend to live as man and wife,including discussing the number of kids they want etc .Some people are scared to take the bold step due to an unpleasant experience of a relative in marriage, hence they have pre- marriage jitters,as they are asking themselves if they are making the right decision.
3. Is this my significant other? : From courtship or interaction with your partner one will be able to tell if this is the person he/she would want to spend the rest of his/her life with. If the ideas and expectations do not blend or flow then it is better to call it quits before march to the altar.
4. Are we friends?: Aside from being in love with each other,the couple should have an easy relationship where they are able to communicate freely by sharing their joys and pains with understanding.-friendship.For love makes you like the good sides or your spouse but friendship makes you tolerate the good and shortcomings of your spouse.
5. No Perfect Man/Woman in Marriage: Anyone who comes out and says my spouse is flawless is lying as there is no such thing as that.Its the couples imperfection that compliments one other that makes them perfect for one another in marriage.Be ready to forgive each other 70* 7 times. Do not try to change your spouse after marriage
6. Deceit : Its one major reason for divorce.Your spouse is you,lying to your spouse about matters that affects both of you is always detrimental to the marriage.Trust once lost in a marriage is difficult to restore and if it is, it can not be the way it was before.common issues that drives a wedge between couples are money,religion,life style and children.Endeavour to be on same page on these issues and you will go a long way
7. Joy: When your spouse is away do you look forward to seeing him/her.If yes then tying the knot is sealing what was meant to be ,that is you not being apart from one another.
8. Sexual satisfaction: Have a healthy a conversation on sexual satisfaction.Couples should not be timid about expressing themselves sexually to their spouse.Do not let the society dictate what gives you and your spouse joy.

A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage,lets try and be friends to our spouse,so that we can stand together against all odds.

The Strength of a Woman

A woman is like a Teabag. You never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water-Eleanor Roosevelt

Its been known for centuries that when a woman is determined and focus ,she goes all out to achieve that which she requires to acquire.

Women have brought about the rise and fall of men and empires.Does the negative out weigh the positive ?

I think " No" ,because they have also contributed to the growth of the world in every ramification.

As a demoralized young Spinster ,whose heart has been broken time and time again, whose trust in men and people have been destroyed. Who saw her father use her mother as a punching bag,and was rejected by her father. She keeps her confidence alive,finds strength in her faith and looks for new love not dwelling in past disappointments .She strives to better than she was before and make a positive impact on herself and those around her. 

From the home front,she marries ,takes care of the home, then gets pregnant, lives through the joy of nine months  and,bearing the joyful pain at childbirth all for love.

After child birth, she grooms her children to be of good character .Amazing that in almost all clime of the world a man  never takes the mother for granted because they are aware of the sacrifices that she has made for just being their mother.So if a woman is a good wife, a good man will also realise that and love her too.

As a wife, she cares for her the husband by making the ambiance in the home peaceful.As the home is a place of balance and  peace,where after the day's hustle & craze, the man and children can run to, for comfort. After being pampered the man's psyche balance, enabling him face the next day of life's battle.

Professionally at work,she is the epitome of professionalism. She works as hard as a man, if not harder to gain the respect of her peers,subordinates and clients in her chosen profession. She strikes a balance between the home front and the job as she juggles the shifts .

As an Abused woman, after she has been beaten ,battered,raped physically,emotionally,psychologically,she still draws strength from within her,and finds the will to keep walking despite her broken body.She has the determination to succeed and rise above her pain.As battered as she looks is how great her inner strength is.

As a prayerful Woman she is a force to reckon with. It is not only known religious women that are strong prayer warriors but the average woman who sits at home and prays fervently on her knees is a prayer warrior. As the saying goes"I want to be that woman that when I wake up in the morning ,the devil says Oh no she is up again!" .Need I say more.

As a Leader,she proffers solutions intelligently with subtle hardness and aggression as she will be motherly,humane,hard and objective in her dealings.Her inputs are given cognizance economically,politically and socially.

The enigma called woman is oxymoronic.She is a balance of many attributes with alot of emotions bottle up.She is stoical,determined,enigmatic,confident,aggressive and loving.She soars like an eagle and hunts like a hawk.The depth of the strength of a woman is astonishing ,aren't you proud to be a woman !Indeed Women were perfectly made by God.

If you are a Woman Please Stand UP!

I Love My Husband :15 Things To Do To Transcend from an Ordinary Woman to a Responsible Wife_

I saw this and decided to share with  my esteemed readers . It was said at a conference by a Pastor and shared by a sister who attended. Its 15 things to do transcend from an Ordinary Woman to a Responsible Wife with a few modification,.I hope you enjoy this

I Love My Husband

1. Respect your husband
2. Realize yourself as a prayer warrior of the family 
3. To be an outstanding wife,you have to endure many things so that you can enjoy many things
4. Don't substitute the love of your husband with your children
5. Be a caring Mother 
6. Be familiar with the do's and don'ts of your husband
7. Create time for your home no matter  how tight your schedule may be
8. Be diligent ,moderate and polite
9. Always be good to your in laws
10. Let courtesy guide you always
11. Be neat and  keep your home clean
12. Be reserved and be careful of the friends you keep
13. Don't go around looking for trouble 
14. Always be ready to make peace with your husband 
15. "When you are hurt don't deny him what you are suppose to give him"

Dear UNDHW if he wants food or for you to tidy up his wardrobe,its understandable,but if he wants love making... would you rather be an Ordinary wife than a Responsible wife because of the 15th point..I would.

How about you?

Caught between the War of the Oghenes

Time and time again cases of third party settling disputes between a husband and wife and is hit by an object meant for the spouse.

This calls to mind the question ,is it okay to come between a couple exchanging blows while they are at each other's throat?

Do you agree with me that  it has its pros and cons .It could actually stop the man and woman from killing each other in the of course their heated misunderstanding, as they could resolve to the use of objects as weapons in defending themselves or attacking their spouse.

However,its disadvantageous, when the settler becomes the in victim of their love war.It reminds me of the story of Mr and Mrs Oghene who were always having misunderstandings.

On this particular day, the clatter of steel coming from the apartment was worse than before,so a neighbour Mrs Jato who is close to the couple decided wade in. As she knocked, the door was opened by Mrs Oghene who was looking very ruffled . As she steeped into the apartment,it was in disarray as their electrical gadgets have all been destroyed by Mrs Oghene .

 Mrs Jato tried to calm the couple but to no avail .Still screaming and raining insults on her husband she made a lunge at Mr Oghene to slap him, but he ducked and she slapped Mrs Jato who was standing behind Mr Oghene,right across the face.

Mrs Oghene still not phased ,crying ,frustrated that she let loose on the wrong person dashed into the kitchen to get a knife and ran out of the apartment still screaming saying, 

"You want to mess with me ,Greg, let me see you carry women in this car again"

and  she slashed the four car tyres and broke the windscreen of her husband's car.

When Mr Oghene saw what his wife was up to, he dashed into their bedroom shouting back at his wife saying,"This woman I will sell all your gold jewelries to fix my car.Nonesense!'.

The neighbour  Mrs Jato ,after the slap from Mrs Oghene,was confused and alarmed yet she stayed on, to try to resolve the differences between them,yet they did not listen to her and still went on their rampage to prove to each other who was more crazy.

Mrs Oghene went after the husband to stop him from getting hold of her jewelries with knife still in hand.. Mrs Jato seeing the knife ran after Mrs Oghene and while trying to get the knife out of her hand  Mrs Jato was incidentally stabbed in her mid palm.

This got the attention of both Mr and Mrs Oghene, who immediately administered first aid to Mrs Jato and had to rush her to the nearest clinic as she was bleeding profusely.Though Mrs Jato achieved her aim of stopping the couple from killing each other but she became the victim.

There, I ask again ,"Is it okay to come between a couple exchanging blows while they are at each other's throat? " Was  Mrs Jato wrong going to the aid of her family friend and neighbour?.

What makes a couple so angry that they get so violent , that they destroy what they must have built together over a period of time in a split second of anger and hatred. Only for them to make up and start all over again  investing time and resources into replacing what has been destroyed.

Food for Thought 

As difficult as it may seem , Couples should learn to manage their anger when having misunderstandings .Not only for their spouses sake but also for their own sake. No one wants a home the aura exudes, lack of peace and love.

Assault on Sister In Law!!

See me see wahala oh, na quarrel she been go settle hmmm.The following story was culled from The Vanguard Newspaper.

A Lagos business man ,Tajudeen Mohammed ,on Friday appeared before a Yaba Magistrates' Court in Lagos charged with assault.  

Mohammed 35, who is facing a count charge of assault and breech of public peace, however pleaded not guilty. 

The prosecutor, Insp. Peter Nwangwu ,told the court that he accused,who resides at No. 35,Ososa Street Bariga, Lagos, committed the act on December 14 at his residence. 

Nwangwu alleged that the accused assaulted Mrs Abiodun Ogunjobi, his wife's elder sister,who came to resolve  a domestic dispute in the family.He further alleged that Mohammed hit Ogunjobi with a blunt object on the face which inflicted a deep cut on her left eye. 

The defendant,on December 14, had a domestic argument with his wife Folake which resulted in a fight."The matter was reported to Ogunjobi who tried to intervene to stop the violence against her sister. Mohammed however turned on Ogunjobi and hit her with a blunt object on her left eye", said the Prosecutor. 

Nwangwu said police investigation showed  that, the accused always harassed and arbitrarily battered his wife. According to the prosecutor,the offence contravenes the Criminal Code of Lagos State,2011. 

The Magistrate,Mrs Motolani Ladipo granted the accused bail for N100,000.00 with two surieties in like sum,and adjourned the case to January 15 for mention.