Sights & Sounds:Man Aged 44,Hawks Children for Sale

A friend in a discussion disclosed that they were ten (10) children by their parents and another friend asked  " Come don't you guys have television in your house that all your parents did was procreate?"  

In the days of old it was common with our grand-parents who were just comfortable and with free education could afford to have as many as 10 -11 children.Doing that in today's world is not only detrimental to the well being of the children but also to the parents .

Yet some people seek to have just one and they are yet to have children.The story below culled from a national daily looks like a scene in a nollywood movie,as it entails the story of a man who decided to tie his children to a wheel barrow and solicit for buyers due to the hardship he was encountering caring for them.

Palpable confusion reigned in Owerri,yesterday,as a father tied seven children,including his triplet to a wheel barrow and was heading to an unknown destination before officials of Ministry of Women Affairs and Social Development intervened.

Investigations carried according to the vanguard, newspaper,revealed that the 44 year old man ,Isreal Dike is a native of Odenkume,Obowo,Local Government Area of Imo state,but resides in Uwgu Ekwema,Egbu Road Owerri.

The children's hands were securely tied to a wheelbarrow while the man was soliciting for buyers for the children,saying he was fed up with his dwindling economic fortunes. 

A Staff of the Ministry said " Following a tip off a high powered team led by the commissioner for Women Affairs,Mrs Nma Onyechere ,quickly went to rescue the children" 

Apart from disclosing that he planned selling some of them with a view to enabling him take proper care of the others,Dike equally lamented that, Governor Rochas Okorocha put him in the mess,he has found himself today.

"Owelle Okorocha is the cause of what I am passing through today.he made me a promise in the past and has failed to redeem it till today".Dike said. 

Speaking to newsmen at the scene,The commissioner described Dike as a " depressed man,who is mentally deranged" 

While urging Dike's wife to go for family planning,the commissioner equally promised that government would carefully ascertain the level of the man's mental problem. 

and the Ministry would find a way of giving out the children to foster parents with a view to ensuring adequate care and education.

Husbands & Wives as Parents Educate your Children on Sex Education Early

Time and time again we hear stories of the children being defiled by their care givers whom the kids were entrusted to by the parents.It is so sad that parents have to live through this nightmare .

In some cases,they have been subjected to hearing after the did has been done that it is the work of the devil.What devil! Why would they say it is the work of the devil when ,the individuals were the ones that defiled the child .

Most boys first encounter having sex is with the house-help or a neighbour whom they called aunty, and if the girls are always left in care of houseboys  or drivers  that simply means that the houseboy or driver can be In -law because he has put her in the family way.

The innocence of children have been known to be stolen by uncles,aunties,house-helps,custodians,tutors,neighbours,drivers and even fathers in some cases.It takes divine grace to have children ,to care for them .Why would someone want to put the parents and children through such an emotional journey of pain.

Wives are usually distraught when they know that their husbands are capable of taking advantage of their daughter but can guard against it if they are strong willed, but if the wives are docile its a case of continuous sexual perversive abuse by the husbands /fathers.

This experience affects the children who have been violated at such young age both physically and psychologically.Not all come out of such  a dastard experience and are able to find the will to keep going.It takes a lot of love and therapy to pull out of the depression or mood swings that will follow.

It is quite painful when we as parents leave our children thinking that they are safe where they are, without being aware that we have left our lambs with wolves.

Solution

Parents have to educate their children early about sex education.Let them know their private regions and if for any reason anyone touches them in their private regions then they should tell Mummy and Daddy or any reliable adult .

That is one reason why it is important to talk your children .Mothers,especially know what your children have been up to in your absence.

.

Sights & Sounds:Man 60 nabbed by Police for raping girl aged 12

Parents have to be careful who they leave their precious gifts called children with,both the girl and boy child are at equal risk of being defiled by a caregiver,tutor or supposed custodian.

Find below is the complete story culled from the Vanguard newspaper of how a man of 60 defiled a 12 year old girl who is old enough to be his grand daughter and who was kept in his care.

A 60 year old man simply identified as Akinduro is cooling his heels in police net for allegedly defiling a 12 year old student of May Flower School, Ikenne ,Ogun State.
It was gathered that the girl (names withheld) was in the custody of the suspect who runs a private hostel in the town.Findings revealed that her parents could not afford the exorbitant accommodation fee in the school,prompting her parents to send her to the private hostel.
However,the custodian,Akinduro had canal knowledge of her on two occasions and the girl could no longer cope with the situation and raised the alarm which attracted sympathisers.
Also the matter was said to have been suppressed or days until the quick intervention of some concerned citizens who notified Ogun police and his arrest was effected.
Police confirming the arrest.Ogun State Police Public Relations Officer(PPRO) Muyiwa Adejobi said investigations revealed the suspect did not have a clean record.He said the suspect had been involved in such cases which were swept under the carpet.
" The girl gave us some descriptions which fits the man.truly he had canal knowledge of her on Friday and Sunday.On getting to the community,we discovered that he had been caught in such act on several occasions but the victims did not report such incidents for reasons best known to them.
Adejobi,further said that the suspect will face the music this time around.He said," personally .i hate such acts also Nigerian law is against it.Imagine somebody who supposed to be a custodian of a 12 year old girl was now caught defiling her.he is not supposed to go scot fee".

Husbands & Wives and Sex in Marriage

Bedmatics is a word that was coined from Gymnastics .It entails the acrobatics involved in love making .

Love making  aside from procreation is,not to be endured but enjoyed .It is meant to be an activity of exploration in the bedroom.Exploration of every crevice of your spouse's body.

The sensations achieved from it shows and expresses love for your spouse.It is an avenue for husbands and wives to use body language to express how they love and appreciate their spouse.Not saying words at that point could be mind blowing for the senses of the body are awake due to the exploration of your spouse's contours.

Yielding to your husband /wife in bed goes a long way to show that you are in tune with your spouse's needs.Be adventurous with your husband or wife if that is what he/she wants ,as it could be very boring with the conservative missionary style.Being adventurous spices up the marriage and keeps both the husband and wife faithful to each other.

Husbands if you are getting everything in bed from your wives would there be any reason to cheat on your wives?

However there are some husbands and wives regardless of what they get from their spouse are simply insatiable and would rather frolic with anyone they desire....they are born that way...to be unfaithful.

Basically,if being adventurous with your spouse will keep them in line and stop them from seeking fun else where and being unfaithful,Please Do It!

If your husband or wife is too aggressive in bed then you need to keep your energy and body fluid in check and pick days for adventure and missionary .whew!

Husbands & Wives and Having Single Close Friends

It is said that there is a difference being married and single.Yes the life of the style of  one after he/she  is married changes,but being married does it mean that they should keep their single friends at bay?

Basically, it is a thing of choice that gradually metamorphosise and plays out as time goes by.The wives for obvious reasons do not want their husbands keeping single friends ,male or female due to the life style of such friends especially when the male friend might keep strings of  hot ,cute ,beautiful lady friends .Also if the female friend (single or married)  is flirtatious around their husband.

On the other hand the husbands  can be very jealous when they see their wives with male friends who are good looking ,with money to spend and that acts inappropriately in front of their wives.You know men know how they operate.In respect to keeping female single friends, the husbands could be uncomfortable with the life style of such a female female friend .

Is it appropriate to ditch your single friend when you get married?

In some cases it is comprehend-able,if one is assumes that inappropriate signals are coming from the supposed friend. It could be envy,irritation in private or public,change in attitude or otherwise.

However what if the single friend is one that is of good cheer,proved his/her worth as a friend time and time again ,God fearing,no ill social vices, as late night outings,or flirting with the opposite sex.Is it proper to let such a good friend go?

Let us highlight the pros an cons of having single friends below:

Advantage:

• Single friends carefree attitude will loosen up the married who could be uptight due to responsibilities at home,eg school fees. 
• Having single friends keeps the married trendy in fashion,music,entertainment et al.

Disadvantages:

• Being with carefree singles could make the married  (both husbands & wives) disregard responsibilities at home .
• Having single friends could arouse suspicions where there should not be ,thereby causing misunderstanding that could have been avoided.
• Likelihood of jealousy could be aroused especially in the female friends of the wives .
• Likelihood of the husband or wife falling for the friend in a moment of weakness could also cause a rift in the home as spouses would rather their spouse cheated on them with an unknown face than someone they have drank and dined with.

It is important to note that the consequences of the disadvantages is highly detrimental to the family.Does the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? You be the judge.

The Family and Moral Values

The world especially Africans are rich in culture,traditions and moral values which is inculcated into the children at an early age . They are grounded in the respect of elders and place values on their heritage. 

However ,today husbands and wives have lost the foundation which the home is built on,due to the quest for money to provide the best for their children .In the process, they have neglected teaching the children basic values that is expected of them in the home. 

The home is the foundation of the society,therefore how parents take care of their children is very important.Children learn and understand things  faster than adults think they do.What the children are thinking ,and doing is paramount to how they view the society and act in the society.

Husbands and wives apart from providing materialistic wants for their children, they have to tend to their emotional and psychological needs as well.It is very vital to the emotional and psychological growth of the children.Neglecting this can be detrimental to the home and the future of the children.

Being a parent is not child's play,it is serious business.It is so sad that compared to the days of old that parents have more challenges today due to their demanding working hours, expectations of their families and environment.

Thereby leaving their children to the house-helps,extended uncle and aunties to care for their children. Parents NO ONE should  care for your children or understand them like you should.  

In reality. great parents can only do as much as they can to the best of their knowledge but they can do much more by taking time to listen to their children ,know their state of mind at every given time to put them on the right track when they are going wrong ,be their friend as well as their father and mother that way they can talk to the  parents about anything that bothers them, so that they do not go seeking attention from a different source that could be inimical to their growth and well being .

The home is the mini world children know before stepping out into the real world,knowing how to survive and act in the real world starts from the home let us not teach our children through pampering or neglect values that will be detrimental to them as individuals. 

In conclusion, parents should not forget the famous quote from the Bible "Train up a child the way he will go ,that when he grows up he will not depart from it."

Sights & Sounds:Teenager Plans Grandmother's kidnap,Collects N150,000.00 Ransom

As the Nigerian parable goes "It takes a man and a woman to have a child but it takes a community to train the child"

What is the world turning into,a teenager in Delta State was arrested for allegedly masterminding the kidnap of his grandmother.

What has taken over the mind of our supposed innocent youths who should focus their energy in their academics rather than money?It is alarming that we as parents  are not inculcating the right thought into our kids as whatever we see today in our youths is as a  result of the society 's love for money.

It is scary what our generation will be in our old age as ,it seems that those values we hold to heart as Africans is almost phased off out of our daily being due to the love for money.

Of old a child will help the elderly with chores and even assist them on the road when if they are with heavy load.Today a 14 year old ,who is still a child is in need of money, that he had to mastermind the kidnapping of his own grandmother!

Below is the complete story as coined from  the Vanguard Newspaper:

ASABA- Men of the Delta State Police Command have arrested a 14 year old boy for allegedly masterminding the kidnap of his grandmother. 

Ironically ,The abductors also took away the boy along with the grandmother and another victim in the process of the kidnap but dropped off the accused before getting to their hideout.

It was also not the first time the boy planned the abduction of his grandmother to enable him share from the ransom 

The State Police Public Relations Officer (PPRO) ,Mr Charles Muka gave a vivid account of the incident .According to him ,"This is a case of conspiracy in which a grandson,for the second time ,planned his grandmother's kidnap. 

"On 17th of this month in Oleh Isoko South Local Government Area at 6 pm, one Hope Evivie,62  year old woman was kidnapped with the suspect,Julius Evivie ,a 14 year old boy along with Victory Oghenero a four year old boy.

However,The suspect was later dropped off on the road, while the victim was taken with the four year old until January 25th  when they were released without ransom. 

"Through information ,the roles of the suspect was revealed and on interrogation,he confessed to receiving N150,000 for the role he played during the earlier kidnap when N4 million ransom was paid. 

The suspect will be charged to court at the end of investigation.Parents and guardians are advised to limit information about themselves to their children,drivers and domestic servants.This incident has re-affirmed  our (police) assertion that kidnapping have insiders roles.

.

Sights & Sounds: Two Children of Same Parents Die in Fire

Tragedy struck in Edo state,where two children of same parents died in a fire incident that happened lat at night.The Mother was not at home when the incident happened neither was the father.This shows how irresponsible some parents can be,in this case the Mother .It is totally unacceptable to leave your children without adult supervision to protect them against any kind of mishap.

Find below of the details of the story  as reported in the Vanguard Newspaper:

Ekpoma (Edo))-two children of the same parents were on Saturday night roasted alive in their  sleep at Ekpoma in the Esan-West Local Government Area of Edo.

The children,a female,four year old Oyenchi Akamezie ad two year old Chukwudalo Akamezie a male.were reportedly burnt when fire from the local lamp engulfed their room at night.

It was alleged that the mother of the children,Christy Akamezie,locked them up in the room while asleep and left them to prostitute.

A crowd of sympathisers who had gathered at the residence on Ilenua Street ,rained curses on the bereaved mother,calling her unprintable names.

As at the time of this report,the charred bodies of the children had yet to be evacuated from their one room apartment,while the Police had arrested their mother for negligence.

The father of the children,Mr Chike Akamezie a trader,.based in Uromi ,Esan North- East Local Government Area,who wept uncontrollably,said that though he had been estranged from his wife,he never failed to provide for the upkeep of the children. 

Akamezie ,who admitted he ever paid any dowry on his estranged wife,alleged that he was compelled to separate from her because she was sleeping around with other men.  

He never knew that the woman could lock up the children at night to go for prostitution,adding that he would have collected the children while separating from her,if his late mother was still alive.

The Divisional Police Officer (DPO) in charge of Esan-West Local Government,declined comment,but directed the reporter to the Police/Public Relations Officer(PPRO) at the State Police Headquarters in Benin .

He explained that DPOs were not authorized to grant media  interviews 

Showing Love While Upset!

Often times our spouse upset us  however, just because they have upset us does not mean that we have stopped loving them but simply means that we get to understand their personality better,and remember same way they upset us we are not perfect,we upset them as well.

Knowing and understanding each other is not a day,a month or a year thing but a life time.That is why marriage is a life time commitment.

You know that moment that you have messed up so bad that your spouse wants to throw you out the window ,It is at this juncture that you walk on tip toe or sulk or get angry  (as we call it gragra) .

The nature of a man with his wife is complex and  uncomprehendable even as it is written in the bible that no one understands the way of a man with a maiden.Therefore having an incite into who your spouse is also accepting your partner with all his /her flaws and that is what LOVE is all about.

Being able to still show care while we are upset at our loved ones is love.Sometimes its so difficult to let go of the pain but when we feel something is wrong with our said spouse we will do everything to make sure we make it right. Let us promote love,peace and harmony in our home.

4 Thoughts that will Change Your Marriage

These are things we do everyday ,but might pay little or no attention to them.
I call them the little big things that makes alot of difference in a marriage

• Communication
• Forgiveness
• Frequent sex  
• GOD

What do you think ?

Hope for Couples with Fertility Issues.

IVF  helps some people to  have babies while for some its just divine visitation from the Lord. As is the case of  Mrs Mary Abah Wife of Ex-Minister of Interior,Mr Humphrey Abah,who just had a baby after waiting on the Lord for 23 years.

She had done IVF six times and is in her menopausal stage as she is over 49 years old. she likened her story to the biblical story of Abraham and Sarah who had Issac in their old age. From the way she talks one can perceive that her relationship with her husband is great as they are friends. It takes alot for a couple to be friends when their relationship is being tested in such a way.Love,friendship and understanding plays a huge role in keeping the couple together.

There were some excerpts from her interview that got me thinking and gave me hope ,especially for those trusting God for the fruit of the womb. It is important to note and believe that God is the ultimate and that he is the greatest gynecologist ,he is the only one that can  open and close a woman's womb.

Regardless of whatever name the doctors gives a woman or man who has fertility challenges ,it is the report of God and an unwavering faith in him that will keep the couple going .As God showed himself in Mrs Mary Abah's situation when medically she was tagged infertile as she had reached menopause,will he not show himself  to those who are still fertile and trust him unconditionally?

It is well .

Here are some excerpts from her interview with the Punch Newspaper:

Question : In essence,you did not anticipate the challenge of having a baby?
No ,I didn't anticipate it.the truth is that as a young child who was brought up by a very strict mother, .I saw life as a bit of calculation:1+1=2 and 2+2=4.So if you got married ,you expect that after nine months as they you will have a child or children.My challenge has made me very sensitive to what parents and well wishers normally do at wedding ceremonies.During a wedding people start talking about gathering again fr a namimn ceremony  fter nine months.They say it as a joke but that is the genesis of pressure on married women,so if yours doesn't happen...
Question :Which was your first point of call,church or hospital?
By 1991 when we got married we became born again and the church had become a focal point and integral part of our lives. We were praying and fasting,good relationship with the leadership of the church had become part of our daily lives and so the church was always there for us.The church was never against consulting orthodox doctors.The only no-go area for us was to seek help outside God.So I think that was why very early in the journey of this crisis we knew that anything outside God was not an alternative to take at all.
Question Did you try IVF? 
Yes ,I did it many times,By the sixth time it was obvious that it could only be God that would help us.I f you look at the Bible,you realise that God uses what he has created to solve problems.sometimes it was a problem for me coming to terms even with IVF and particularly when i had done it once,twice and three times and it failed.I was thinking that maybe that was how God wanted me to go. Sometimes I would agonise over it I would pray and sometimes I would even face the battle with my God because I also understood that faith was also very important and faith involves work.I understood clearly that you need to activate your faith and so when I began to see the failure of IVF,I felt that was part of it,I would pray and move on,but each time it failed i was actually confused because in your journey as a Christian you grow little by little,you don't just become a mighty woman overnight.It is from the experiences and how you exercise the word of God that you become confident in what you are doing.
Question: During these times did you loose interest in having sex with your husband as most women who had faced similar experiences in the past would do?
 You see if you read the Bible clearly there was one woman who had a baby without sex and that is Mary,the Mother of Jesus.All of us can't be like Mary.So where is your action and where is your faith?You must work with your faith.There is nothing about faith that is easy ,you understand spiritually that the physical aspect must be part of that journey,then you must keep the fire burning,must keep trying because without it you cannot get pregnant.So you must find ways you keep going and with that,what you are asking from God will materialise.If not,you are wasting your time and you cannot blame God who said Ï have made man,I have made woman for creation"Out of it,the next generation and you sitting down to say you have lost interest ,then do not blame God at the end of the day.You will work and whether you like it or not find time to make way and the Lord will see you through.I think he has shown us that it is good nit to give up.
Question: How did you feel when you were told  you were pregnant?
When they told me I was pregnant I screamed and cried in the hospital and everyone present rose up and gave thanks to God.Since then ,the story has been one testimony after another,but that was not all,when i was toput to bed I was told that there might be complications as a result of all the
How did you feel when you were told that you were pregnant?When they told me I was pregnant, I screamed and cried in the hospital and everyone present rose up and gave thanks to the Lord. Since then, the story has been one testimony after another. But that was not all, when I was to put to bed, I was told there might be complications as a result of all the operations I had done. They said that might make it a very difficult and dangerous birth. Yet, the Lord saw me through. It feels great and I thank the Lord for wiping away my tears and making me a mother at last. It is a dream I have had since I married at the age of 27. Now, I am more than 49 years old, it has taken a long time but the Lord has done it for me. I have shed a lot of tears. Our story is like that of Abraham and Sarah. I am already in menopause  but I told God that if He did it for Sarah and gave her womb the strength to conceive, then He would give my womb the same strength. Even when doctors in London told me in 2011 that nothing could be done, I knew that it is only Him (the Lord) that could help me. I focused on the Lord and He did it for me.

Sights & Sounds:Togolese Herbalist Docked for Impregnating 13 year Daughter

This is a story that is heart wrenching ,who would you believe. How can a father impregnate his daughter ,If  mothers can not trust their husband with their daughters then who can they trust their daughters with ...an Uncle or total stranger?

Here is the story of a man who took advantage of his daughter who is a minor.

Here is the story as written below in one of the national daily newspaper.

The police in Lagos ,yesterday ,arraigned a Togolese herbalist,Friday Samuel 37,before an Apapa Chief Magistrates's court for allegedly impregnating his 13 year old daughter.

The Prosecutor,ASP Soji Ojaokomo,told the court that Samuel,who married a woman from Abia State (now deceased) ,resides at Igbede New Site ,Ajangbadi,Ojo a Lagos suburb.

Ojaokomo said, the accused faced a three-count charge of indecent assault,unlawful defilement and impregnating his daughter 

He said Samuel committed the offences at his residence on January 16,2014,at 8: 30 pm. The prosecutor said the accused,who is the biological father of the 13 year old ,had been constantly having unlawful sexual intercourse with her before he eventually impregnated her.

The accused was fond of fondling with his daughter and constantly having sexual  intercourse with her without the victim's consent"he said..

Ojaokomo said the daughter reported the matter to her sister when she could no longer bear the sexual assault.

The accused however ,pleaded not guilty to the charge.The Prosecutor said the offences contravened Sections 116(d),135 and 137 of the Criminal Law of Lagos State,2011

Counsel to the accused,Mrs Okafor Ijeoma pleaded with the court to grant her client bail on liberal terms. 

" According to my client,his late wife's family wants to use this allegation against him,so as to take away their late daughter's cum sister's children from him since an Ikeja High Court denied them custody of the children some time ago.

"In fact,that is the true position because it is only through the girl,that the family can be getting information concerning her father since  her younger siblings are too immature to know what is happening to their father.

5 Wrong Reasons To Marry & 11 Wrong Attitude/Choices in Marriage

There are several wrong reasons or foundations for marriage.Marriage is not a game but an institution that ends at the death of the partners as agreed in the term"Till Death Do Us Part".Even if they decide to get a divorce ,its on record and when children are involved ,it brings both parents together to a round table.

There are different reasons a man chooses his bride and or a woman chooses her groom,if they are founded on the following,it could be heading for the rocks at the inception of the marriage without the parties concerned knowing.

The Following are the  wrong foundation for choosing a spouse,

• Wealth- if they go into it for monetary gain ,what if the money fizzles out,what then?
• Fame- This is when an unknown face is in a romantically linked with a celebrity ,what happens when the fame fizzles out or you can not condole the celebrity's excesses,what then?
• Physical Features- If the man is an Adonis or the lady is very beautiful.his is a vain reason as beauty fades ,what then?
• Attitude-Some people are drawn to men or woman who are proud,such people could treat your family with disdain especially if the partner's family is of a humble background.
• Sex- It is important for most people to be sexually compatible with  their spouse,so they tend to do IT and feel they can tolerate whatever comes along because he or she is an excellent lover. 

There is also the wrong motive and attitude in the marriage.The following are wrong choices in marriage

• Selfishness-The spouse should be sensitive the partner's need,in and out of bed. 
• Greed- The partner wants to have it all to him or herself ,maybe she earns more than he does ,she is looking like a super model while her husband looks like the driver.It is important to take care of the spouse that does not earn so much.
• Lack Of Sex- This is a serious problem.A man could deny his wife of sex for months just because he wants to prove a point ,and knowing that she will not cheat on him and vice versa.
• Infertility - For some men or women once they have tried for a baby and its been medically diagnosed that it either their husband or wife's fault .immediately there will be finger pointing and before you know it they  are always at logger heads ,till they go their separate ways.
• Nagging- Some men but women are renowned for it.It can drive a spouse crazy especially when all they just need at a particular time is peace.
• Lack Of Respect- Respect for one another is important as it is important to note though respect is earned ,it is reciprocal.If spouses learn to treat each other with respect there are certain things they will never say or treat them with spite.
• Abusive-In a domestic abusive relationship? It is better to get out before someone gets hurts.
• Family Meeting-  When one has a misunderstanding with the spouse ,he /she calls a family meeting,to thrash the issue at hand .It CAN not WILL ,after all some issues have been resolved between a husband and wife i such meetings however,it is important to note that every married couple has misunderstanding but it is better to try to resolve your misunderstanding in the privacy of your bedroom and not air your dirty linen in public.
• Self Pity- It can portray you to your spouse as weak and it can be irritating to him or her.instead express your concerns and look for a creative way to resolve your challenges and move on.
• Infidelity- This depends on alot of factors but in Africa we are willing to forgive our husbands when they have been unfaithful ,however that does not give him the licence to cheat on his wife On the other hand ,will the man be so willing to forgive the woman when she is caught cheating on him...No.
• Lack Of Love-When there is no love lost between a man and his wife,it is better to just pack and go to hell than to be in that house for it is not a home of peace ,love and joy.

Being married and Having The Opposite Sex as Close Friends

This is a topic that is very sensitive,most spouse(s) end up having jealous fits over this issue.It takes alot of trust ,maturity and tolerance on the part of the other partner  to accept that the spouse has a close friend or friends of the opposite sex.

Is it okay for a wife and mother to have close male friends and vice versa? Having friends of the opposite sex is not a crime but having them too close ,could result to erupting emotions that might want to be explored by both parties.

Having friends of the opposite sex could be advantageous and disadvantageous. Which brings about the question, " Does the disadvantage outweigh the advantage? " 

A female having a male close friend is okay ,but when they interact at all times and odd hours, especially when one or both are married ,it could be suspicious.

Is it possible for a man to be "just friends" as we tend to call it ,with a married woman without having his emotions entwined in the web of love and vice versa?

It is vital to note that while men ACT,women REACT.It is what & how a woman is treated that she gives in return because women are emotional and instinctive by nature.

Therefore it is possible that a woman or man who tremendously enjoys the company of a particular individual of the opposite sex ,is likely to have an emotional attachment that could develop into an inappropriate relationship.

It is okay to have a close friend of the opposite sex ,he/she will be able to give an objective insight to situations ,however it is not healthy for the  married to have close friends of the opposite sex ,due to human nature for various reasons .  

Having said that ,it is paramount to note that everyone is looking for a friend in their spouse,one who will laugh & cry with them,listen to them,feel their joy & pain,triumphs & failures,basically just to be in sync with them. If one has all of these in their spouse ,though their partner(s) could have a friend of the opposite sex but will be able to filter information and save the best and most important for his /her spouse .

It is common knowledge that communication is an important tool in a marriage,being married to one who is a friend as well as a lover is a gift ,do not bring in a third party in the name of a  knowing what your husband /wife is thinking or wanting to have free space to explore another  company apart from your husband/wife.That way indeed the saying, "What God has joined together let no man put asunder", will always be a reality in the marriage..

Do you agree?

Sights & Sounds: Police Arrest Man for Allegedly setting Wife and Son Ablaze

This is a demonstration of the apex domestic violence.one of Nigeria's national daily reports the story of a man who set his Wife and Son ablaze. The complete story below.

In Ibadan a man who had been on the run after allegedly setting his wife and son ablaze in their one room apartment at Agugu area of Ibadan has been arrested.

DSP Olabisi Clet - Ilobanafor,the Oyo State police spokesperson,confirmed the arrest on Tuesday in Ibadan. 

The suspect ,who was said to have committed the offence  on December 27,2013 at about 4.00am,was arrested on Friday at Ita- Baale area of Ibadan at about 11.30am.

Clet -Ilonanafor said that preliminary investigations revealed that the suspect killed the duo after accusing his wife of engaging in extra marital affairs.

Although investigations are still not conclusive,preliminary findings showed that the couple had a history of domestic violence.

It was learnt from neighbours that the woman called him an ex-convict during a dispute and before he stormed out of the house ,he swore that she would not see 2014.

The fire started,in he room and surprisingly ,the door to the room was locked with a padlock from the outside.

"This suggests that the woman and her child were locked in from outside"She said.

Reports that the Police gave the names of the victims as Felicia and Gbolahan

.

UnitedDesperateHousewivesn: 10 Easy Complex Truths about Men & their requirements from their Wives

UnitedDesperateHousewivesn: 10 Easy Complex Truths about Men & their requirements from their Wives

Money In The Family

Money is the essential friend of the husband ,wife and children in a family,because without money there is a huge handicap in the home.

Money is needed for the running of the home in every ramification.Money is vital in a home right from the moment that the man and woman decides to say I do.

Money is one factor that causes misunderstanding in the home.There is no amount of money that is enough for the woman to run the home,as eventualities occur .Prudence is the watch word for the wives and their husbands.Yes it can be quite challenging as the cost of living keeps escalating,but it is paramount that wives manage what they have been given or what they have for the running of the home.

 .

Couples should try to be least selfish in their dealings and be on same page so that they do not get frustrated while dealing with one another. 

Some wives find themselves as the breadwinner and still have to do both the planning and running of the home due to the lack of assistance from their husbands. It is tough having to handle the bills that come but being responsible for the funds that come into the home,now that is another level. 

It is not a crime to be able to provide for home but it is crime when the husband is unappreciative, complains about not being satisfied by the wife or is out having extra marital affairs.This also applies to the wives whose hardworking husbands are the bread winner .

There are instances where people  lack the basic amenities such shelter,food, and clothing. It brings about pain & aggression in the home or environment. It can be heart wrenching to see your child hungry ,looking malnourished with sunk in  .It could lead to extreme conditions in the home of pity,anger or amidst the challenges they hope for a better tomorrow

However, let us bear in mind that ,when we have money for our necessities it is a gift from God. So when we have enough for luxury items or activities,we should be grateful to God and  appreciate our spouse for providing for the family ,  for it gives  them joy to see their loved ones smile ,as that is the good of having the money to fend for the family .

Sights & Sounds: Family of Slain woman Accuses Husband

                                 Late Mrs Bridget Osawaru

The stories of husbands being held responsible for the death of their wives and vice versa,is nothing new under the sun.Its just that the rate now is alarming.Is it that husbands and wives have lost so much respect for each other and selfishness or greed has taken over love and the fear of God as the foundation on which their marriage was founded?

The story below was culled from one of our national Daily newspaper of a man in Edo state suspected of killing his wife  (the lady pictured above) after her body was discovered close to a river in a community.Find below the tragic story.

It was gathered that prior to her death,Chief Osawaru informed the deceased that another woman had given birth to a set of twins for him, the deceased disagreed with him that, it was not possible since medically it has been proven that he has a low sperm count.

The deceased was said to have insisted that a DNA must be carried out before she would accept the situation.She was alleged to have offered to bank roll the test to be carried out.It was learnt that the woman's husband invited the family of the deceased and his own family for a meeting with a view to find a solution to the matter and it was in that meeting that the younger sister of the husband had an altercation with the deceased and allegedly threatened that the deceased will not see 2014. Following this allegation,and the subsequent death of deceased  Bridget,the family ran to the Edo state Police Command accusing the husband and sister of killing their daughter. 

Consequently,the duo were arrested by detectives at the police command but they denied having a hand in the death of the woman. As a matter of fact,the embattled husband revealed how he coughed out N1.5million to pay ransom in order to save his wife.After investigations,the duo were granted bail.

Now the family of the deceased is crying foul,accusing the police at the command of not carrying out proper investigations.They decided to run to the AIG zone 5 to seek justice.

In  a petition addressed to the AIG zone 5,dated 13th January,2014,signed by their Counsel,F.E Oberabor,they called for proper investigation into the matter so as to ascertain,the real cause of her death.According to the petition,"Their daughter wanted to have more for her husband but was unable to because the husband was confirmed to have low sperm cont by different hospitals..Their daughter informed them that based on that ,she was surprised when the husband informed her that a woman had given birth to twins for him. 

That their daughter insisted that a DNA test must be conducted to verify the paternity of the twins before her husband would be accept them and based on that ,the husband became angry and invitedfamily and his family both the wife's family members for intervention.And when all these were happening,the woman had misunderstanding with the husband's younger sister Adesuwa ,who threatened that she would not live to see 2014. 

That soon after the quarrel,their daughter as allegedly kidnapped in her Chemist shop at Ekae at Sapele Road,Benin city and subsequently found dead at Okhuae Bridge by  Agbor Road,Benin City.That their daughter's husband informed them that he had concluded negotiations with the alleged kidnappers and had given N1.5Million to his younger brother who is a doctor to pay the kidnappers only for their daughter to be found dead on the 21st  December ,2013.

That their daughter's husband and his younger sister,adesuwa hereinafter called the ""suspects"were arrested and released without proper invetsigation and ever since,their daughter's husband has been so unconcerned about their daughter's death by going about his job and has refused to come to the family to inform them about their daughter's death."r 

The Petition said further that ",the main purpose of this letter is to appeal to you to use your good office to transfer this matter to your esteemed office for proper investigation of the matter and order the arrest of the suspects who are not ghosts but physical beings and ensuring that justice is served in this case.The Police at the state Command did not do any investigation despite the overwhelming evidence against the suspects,hence this appeal for the transfer of the case".s

However ,when the accused were contacted,the suspects Chief Osawaru and the sister denied all the allegations and he expressed shock over the accusation from deceased the family after they have enjoyed cordial relationship before the unfortunate incident.
The deceased family is insisting that the police must fish out the killers  and that is the only way the soul of their daughter will rest in peace.

10 Easy Complex Truths about Men & their requirements from their Wives

Dear UNDHW ,
Got this from a friend and  I just had to share with you,I think it will enable women comprehend their men better ,knowing their dislikes.It is a must read as it is quite enlightening. Find  excerpt below:

1) Honestly speaking,being a good girl doesn't automatically mean you will be a good wife.(they are two different things entirely

2) I have seen virgin brides turn to nagging wives,why some girls with so called PAST become considerate & discerning wives(don't mix up the point).

3) In relationships,a lady shouldn't be dragging a man's position with him.It is not only about turning 'MRS'. It is about understanding the concept of being a WIFE

4a) Women who let their husband be,earn more respect and get cheated on the LEAST
4b) But the police woman type of wives a.k.a lion queens,loose out more because of their 'I too know attitudes'

5) I am not saying you should tolerate nonsense/crap,am just saying Be-A Wife.If only women knew how easy it to control a man.

6) Here's something you all  should ponder on"Men are more submissive when they are in control"

7a) Women are vain on their beauty,while men are vain on their ego
7b) Don't drag arguments or insist on something with your man,you will hit a brick wall because you are technically attacking his ego- a man's diamond asset.

8a) Rather suggest your idea little by little,acknowledging he is the head,gradually,he will bend to your will without him being aware.
8b) Older women call this "pillow talk"

9a) A woman should be in subjection to her husband and her husband alone
9b) When it comes to male colleagues ,male business partners or relatives,you can do all that ,'Act like a woman and think like a man stuff
9c)But not to your husband...don't go applying that theory in your relationship or marriage

10)) Lastly- if truly all men are like dogs,then just learn to feed him and take him for walks everyday- he will sit.

Do you agree with the above theory on both men and women.?Food for thought as most of what was stated is absolutely right.Lets try to be not just good wives but great wives as it makes our home loving ,happy and peaceful.

My Sister's Husband Wants Me- 2

While he shut the door I was looking at the cannabis stubs he had on his ash stray saying to myself that that this man is as high as a kite,how do i get out of this.Sister Amarachi i am sure doesn't know that Brother Nduka takes weed.

But I kept my composure and didn't utter a word still trying to figure out the scene in front of me, how do I leave?

Then brother Nduka walked up to me and touched my breast.I jumped and said,"Ah Brother ,please stop oh".

Looking for a chance to escape but knowing its a futile attempt as the office was at the top most floor of the  the building,i could not jump through window.Brother Nduka threw himself on me,he is a well built man and pinned me to himself and forcefully started to kiss me .

I tried to wriggle myself out of his grip,but to no avail ,scared of what was happening and refusing to accept what I was experiencing and with whom. He finally had his way with me,still telling me how he will pamper me,but I discovered that at some point during the act I stopped feeling weird but actually started enjoying it and experiencing the greatest pleasure of my life, for he was a fantastic lover. 

After that night things were never the same for me,I looked forward to being with Brother Nduka. Since he was  taking care of my financial needs and he was a wonderful lover ,I felt I did not have much to loose ,though I felt guilty sleeping with my Sister's husband  but I am having he time of my life,I can't help myself,as I have tasted the forbidden fruit.

The story above can happen to anyone,Women please be vigilant of he activities of everyone in your home,not in an overbearing way but be mindful  of the characters of the people you let into your home and your husband's capabilities.
It takes the grace of God to have a responsible husband and if he is irresponsible it also takes of God to keep him in line .  So let us be attentive to our home

My Sister's Husband wants me

Dear UNDHW, Got this mail from a lady ,whose story is below.

 For the purpose of this story i would rather pick fictitious names to protect the identity of my family .My name is Matilda,I came to Lagos to live with my elder sister Mrs Amarachi  Okoye and her husband Barrister Nduka  Okoye . I came to Lagos after my NYSC in search of  a job.

Uncle Nduka  said that I should come work in his law chamber assisting his secretary who is soon to be on maternity leave, pending when I get something else.I was so happy since I felt like a liability to my sister always asking her for money.

I started work in my in law's chamber  and could not be happier as my friends who came to Lagos in search of a job have told me a lot of tales  about the exploits they had encountered in the city of Lagos.  

Sister Amarachi was nice enough to tell her husband that I should join him to work everyday, since i did n't know my way around in town. So I went to work with Brother Nduka but came back on my own as he gets home very late.

 Brother Nduka  was always nice to me as well.He gave me money for my up keep aside from my salary.He made life so comfortable for me,I could afford to buy what ever I wanted that was trendy.

Soon I started working late because the secretary had gone on maternity leave ,sometimes get got home 10pm or 11 pm because I didn't get off on time.,and it got worse as time went by.

One day, he kept me back late that he wanted some documents ready that he will be taking to court the next day. As usual I sorted the documents and when they were ready I took it into his office,as I walked in,he was smoking cannabis and the room was reeking of  it, and i was wondering how come i did not smell it earlier.As shocked as I  was I didn't express it,I dropped it on his table for corrections but he was staring me,his eyes all glazed from being as high as kite on his weed.

As i turned to go he called me back still keeping his stare steady on me and asked,"Matilda are you a virgin?'
I was so dumbfounded that all I could mutter was "No sir, I have a boyfriend"

He replied ,"that is good so you are not naive and come sit on my lap". 

I responded "ah  Brother Nduka,I don't  understand Sir"

He said, "okay" and stood up and and walked over to the door and locked it still keeping  eye contact with me and said "I will take care of you better than before I promise all you have to do is to be with me and don't tell your sister I will give you  everything you need.

To Be Continued...

How Sex Boosts One's Health

The sex in  role of  sex in marriage goes beyond the physical pleasure ,it transcends to the total being of the lovers .Good healthy sex is essential for a wonderful healthy relationship as man and wife.

Sex helps to boost the partners health in different ways  and they are as follows:

Enables you to sleep better: After a hard day at work,you find that you are still tensed up unknowingly and find it difficult to to go sleep even though you are tired and have retired to bed for the night,but after having sex they just roll over and fall asleep!

Reduces Stress level: When one is tensed up and stressed out with daily issues a big dose of love making will help reduce the stress. A Study has also proved that people who frequently have sex can handle stress better.

Relieves Pain: Study has proved that the hormone oxytocin increases by five times when one is about to have an orgasms.This endorphin actually reduces aches and pain .So a headache or pain before sex can be cured by having sex.

Increases Blood circulation:It cleanses the body system ,due to the fact that the heart beat rate increases while having sex,fresh blood are supplied to your organs and cells. While the used blood is removed,the body also expels toxins and other materials in the body that makes you fatigued.

Enhances Physical Fitness: Going to the gym for a good work out session of two hours  is a waste of time compared to the calories one burns with 30 minutes of hot steamy sex.

Promotes longevity: study has shown that the hormone dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA) which is released when one has orgasm improves immunity,repairs tissue and keeps the skin healthy and Men who have at least two orgasm in a week live longer than men who have just once every few weeks.

Enhances cardiovascular health: In recent study,it was discovered that men who have sex more than twice a week ,have a lesser risk of getting heart attack as it lowers blood pressure,than men who have sex less than once a month.

Increases Immunity: Frequent sex increases the level of immune boosting anti body immunoglobinA (IgA) that makes the body stronger against illnesses such as cold and fever.

Improves the level s of Oestrogen and Testosterone: In men,the hormone testosterone is responsible for the men being very passionate in bed .It also improves the muscles, bones and keeps the heart healthy as well as keeping tabs on the cholesterol level.In women ,the hormone oestrogen protects them against disease as well as determines the her scent.The more she has sex,the higher her level of oestrogen which protects her against Alzhemeir and osteoporosis.Women who are frequent under the sheets have more regular menstrual cycles and promotes fertility.

See how wonderful sex is.do not deny your husband or wife the pleasure of one another as well as for health reasons.Sex is a gift from God for us to enjoy and be healed both physically,psychologically and spiritually. 

Love a Bad man/woman To Appreciate the Good man /woman

A Woman has got to love a bad man once or twice to be thankful for the good one-Majorie Kinnan

Women are so "wonderfully" complex by nature.We do not want a man who we can walk all over,yet we do not want a man ,who will  use us as his punching bag and ironically we also have women who would rather be battered by their men  physically because that is the only way they feel loved.  

Just as we have men who are mean to women, so do we have women who are mean to men,and derive pleasure out of making the home front a living hell.It is often said that,"It is better for a woman to be married to a bad man  than for a man to be married to a bad woman".Due to how resilience the woman can be when she is being maltreated and how mean she can be when dishing out her venom.

In fact, I do not know why the wild mean ones do not wind up with each other ,but like the saying goes opposite attracts.Good girls like bad boys and bad boys love good girls.Women being naturally extreme by nature are so terrible, they nag,fight shamelessly,lack proper wifely manners,treat their husbands poorly in front of strangers,their family and friends.She just looks like devil's very own daughter from hell that has decided to make her home another hell hole. 

Due to this bad traits she has you find her Man not in a hurry to go home after work or try to avoid the home by hanging out more with friends,girlfriends and even extended family members. 

After experiencing such a nasty woman or  man who would rather punch a woman than a man,both the man and woman who were at the receiving end will definitely appreciate a spouse when they have him/her.

So if you have a good man or woman by your side never take him or her for granted. N

ever get tired of telling them and showing them how much you appreciate them.

Pastor Rapes Woman While having Spiritual Bath

We women should be mindful of the churches we go to. it is important we seek the face of our Lord but it is also vital  to know that not all men God are called by the Lord.

There have been cases of women and men taken advantage of due to their challenges in life and seek a church to seek help from the Lord through the pastor instead they take advantage of the man or woman that is already down.

Let us be mindful that,as it is written in the Bible that "by their fruits you shall know them.'How can Pastor take advantage of a woman who came to him ....... Do not be deceived by these wolves in sheep clothing.

This story was culled from the Vanguard newspaper and this incident happened just last year at Abeokuta.The story as written below.

A 46 year -old Pastor Olamide Sobowale,of Glory Church of Christ Aladura, Oke -Itoku,Abeokuta Ogun State,has been ordered to be remanded in prison for allegedly raping a woman while bathing in his church backyard.

Pastor Sobowale ,who was arraigned before a Magistrate Court sitting in Isabo ,Abeokuta,was accused of rapping one Dupe Makinde,30 ,who lives in Isaje,Abeokuta,while taking a spiritual bath allegedlly recommended by the pastor. 

The prosecuting counsel,Paul Etusi,told the court that the accuses grabbed the complaint while she was in the bathroom with in the church premises and raped her. 

Etusi said the complaint had already put the soap on her face as she began bathing  when the pastor suddenly entered the bathroom,grabbed her and raped with the soap on her face

According to Etusi ,the accused had told Mrs Makinde that he had  a vision about her and asked her to come for deliverance in his church.He said ,"he asked the woman to the church to take spiritual bath  for her deliverance,but while the complaint was taking her bath,the accused barged into the bathroom,grabbed the woman and raped her. 

"The accused has committed an offence contrary to section 357 and punishable under section 358 of the criminal code of law of Ogun State,Nigeria,2006 .Magistrate A.Araba after listening to the prosecutor counsel,ordered that the accused be remanded in prison till he gets advice from the Director of Public Prosecution and adjourned the case .

This kind of incident happens everyday  and there are other experiences but most go unreported and gets swept  under the carpet when they are . However it is not that they do not have great Men of God who are actually called but the bad eggs are soiling the reputable names .
Finally , I plead with both men and women to please be careful of the churches they attend..

Ways to Attract Your Husband

The days of being the modest old fashioned stoic wife was in the past. Due to the trend of today's generation,we the ladies are mindful of how our dear husbands look at us,as much as we are dutiful mothers and wives ,we also have to strike a balance between the old and the new trend to suit our generation of men.

Below are the following ways to attract our Husbands, so lets switch on our light bulb of sex appeal :

• Confidence:  Men love it when their women exude confidence ,with high self esteem it always brings a smile when his wife is admired by others.A woman who has confidence, trusts' her man and does not feel insecure when he is talking to a beautiful woman at a party. 
• Neatness: Its not okay when we let ourselves go and not take a bath early in the morning and late at night before going to bed.We need to smell nice for our man at all times ,not sweaty and stinky .Some women with body odour also bless people with the natural "fragrance" of their body which could be  a huge turn off when the husband when he sees strangers acting strange through their body language and avoiding the wife. So lets be neat by keeping our homes clean and take to being more conscious of our personal hygiene in every ramification. It is a huge turn on when your husband sees you smelling nice .
• Be Caring:  Being attentive to your husband is one sole attribute that when its withdrawn causes a rift between spouses.It gives a man joy to see and know that his wife cares for him.It attracts her to him more because he knows that he is loved.
• Be his friend: Do not judge your man when he makes mistakes and he is remorseful and apologizes,accept and let it go.Be there to console  him and cheer him up when he is feeling down.He will appreciate you and love you more.
• Be a Fashionista: Being a fahionista does not mean you should wear expensive designer labels of clothes or jewelries,no it simply means that you can be trendy in a simple neat way and still look nice and attractive to him.We all know that sexy item that we have got that makes us irresistible to our man.In the days of old, our mothers wore wrappers across their chest and our fathers tied wrapper around their waist ,to them that was sexy . So we all know what works for our spouses , if its a pair of nice fitted leggings ,shorts,gown ,jeans etc. Being well dressed makes our husbands attracted to us and boost our confidence as well.
• Wear make up: You do not have to be loud with your make up but use the eye liner,lipstick/lip gloss, mascara to high light your facial features and enhance your look.
• Maintain your shape: Being in shape is very vital.Men have different taste in women that is why we are all wonderfully made to suit the specifics of a given man. Maintaining what attracted your man to you is important,as it keeps your marriage,relationship and love alive and spicy 
• Do not be the town's voice-Gossip: Most women are guilty of being gossips but some carry it a notch further by being the town's voice .Such women are known to be quite knowledgeable about what is happening in their immediate environment.Making other people's business their business in a negative way.It is not an attractive attribute to have and it makes a woman less attractive to her man.
• Do Not Nag: This is a very dicey one as its difficult. When a woman has been hurt by her man, it is better to take some time and think about the situation and how to address it.It is not ideal to talk about  it repeatedly and aggressively because you are trying to get your man's attention ,as its a huge turn off for men. The best approach is to pick a quiet time to talk to him with gentility.
• Be Spiritual: Men love it when their woman is prayerful,it is a very attractive quality as it means that she is God fearing and there is some one to intercede on his behalf to the Father.You know there are some men who love God but do not go to church because they believe their wife is representing them.
• Be Adventurous in Bed : This is the physical way the man and woman expresses their feelings for one another with their body.The man expresses his desire for sex as frequently as possible and we refuse to yield because we are tired,if we do not yield to them ,they will go and get the action they need somewhere else . Do not complain because you gave him a reason to be unfaithful to you. If you are very tired you can make a promise that you will make it up to him in the morning or the nearest time in the future, it will give him something to look forward to. Flirt with your man when you want him do not assume the conservative notion that he should only be the one to make the move on you.Seek him out even though you do not have sex ,it shows that you desire to be with him and that is healthy for your relationship and future as Man and wife. 

  Dear UNDHW do you agree?

What To Do Before Marriage

Tempers flare up at the slightest opportunities for couples whose tolerance for one another has fallen short,not willing to settle and address the bone of contention between them, the idea of  divorce will  seem more appealing t them.

Thereby making others who are yet to tie the knot apprehensive about walking down the aisle.However by comprehending what it entails to be married and expressing one's expectations to the partner , both of them will be aware and make their decision to get married on not.

The following below entails what they could expect in a marriage

1. There will be disagreements: Its paramount to know that couples will always have disagreements. They have disagreements to agree with each other later and  to understand themselves better.
2. Address your challenges : Its vital that the couple talk about what they expect from their marriage,they should make a list of what could make the marriage fail and a list of what they want in the marriage.They should clearly define how they intend to live as man and wife,including discussing the number of kids they want etc .Some people are scared to take the bold step due to an unpleasant experience of a relative in marriage, hence they have pre- marriage jitters,as they are asking themselves if they are making the right decision.
3. Is this my significant other? : From courtship or interaction with your partner one will be able to tell if this is the person he/she would want to spend the rest of his/her life with. If the ideas and expectations do not blend or flow then it is better to call it quits before march to the altar.
4. Are we friends?: Aside from being in love with each other,the couple should have an easy relationship where they are able to communicate freely by sharing their joys and pains with understanding.-friendship.For love makes you like the good sides or your spouse but friendship makes you tolerate the good and shortcomings of your spouse.
5. No Perfect Man/Woman in Marriage: Anyone who comes out and says my spouse is flawless is lying as there is no such thing as that.Its the couples imperfection that compliments one other that makes them perfect for one another in marriage.Be ready to forgive each other 70* 7 times. Do not try to change your spouse after marriage
6. Deceit : Its one major reason for divorce.Your spouse is you,lying to your spouse about matters that affects both of you is always detrimental to the marriage.Trust once lost in a marriage is difficult to restore and if it is, it can not be the way it was before.common issues that drives a wedge between couples are money,religion,life style and children.Endeavour to be on same page on these issues and you will go a long way
7. Joy: When your spouse is away do you look forward to seeing him/her.If yes then tying the knot is sealing what was meant to be ,that is you not being apart from one another.
8. Sexual satisfaction: Have a healthy a conversation on sexual satisfaction.Couples should not be timid about expressing themselves sexually to their spouse.Do not let the society dictate what gives you and your spouse joy.

A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage,lets try and be friends to our spouse,so that we can stand together against all odds.

The Strength of a Woman

A woman is like a Teabag. You never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water-Eleanor Roosevelt

Its been known for centuries that when a woman is determined and focus ,she goes all out to achieve that which she requires to acquire.

Women have brought about the rise and fall of men and empires.Does the negative out weigh the positive ?

I think " No" ,because they have also contributed to the growth of the world in every ramification.

As a demoralized young Spinster ,whose heart has been broken time and time again, whose trust in men and people have been destroyed. Who saw her father use her mother as a punching bag,and was rejected by her father. She keeps her confidence alive,finds strength in her faith and looks for new love not dwelling in past disappointments .She strives to better than she was before and make a positive impact on herself and those around her. 

From the home front,she marries ,takes care of the home, then gets pregnant, lives through the joy of nine months  and,bearing the joyful pain at childbirth all for love.

After child birth, she grooms her children to be of good character .Amazing that in almost all clime of the world a man  never takes the mother for granted because they are aware of the sacrifices that she has made for just being their mother.So if a woman is a good wife, a good man will also realise that and love her too.

As a wife, she cares for her the husband by making the ambiance in the home peaceful.As the home is a place of balance and  peace,where after the day's hustle & craze, the man and children can run to, for comfort. After being pampered the man's psyche balance, enabling him face the next day of life's battle.

Professionally at work,she is the epitome of professionalism. She works as hard as a man, if not harder to gain the respect of her peers,subordinates and clients in her chosen profession. She strikes a balance between the home front and the job as she juggles the shifts .

As an Abused woman, after she has been beaten ,battered,raped physically,emotionally,psychologically,she still draws strength from within her,and finds the will to keep walking despite her broken body.She has the determination to succeed and rise above her pain.As battered as she looks is how great her inner strength is.

As a prayerful Woman she is a force to reckon with. It is not only known religious women that are strong prayer warriors but the average woman who sits at home and prays fervently on her knees is a prayer warrior. As the saying goes"I want to be that woman that when I wake up in the morning ,the devil says Oh no she is up again!" .Need I say more.

As a Leader,she proffers solutions intelligently with subtle hardness and aggression as she will be motherly,humane,hard and objective in her dealings.Her inputs are given cognizance economically,politically and socially.

The enigma called woman is oxymoronic.She is a balance of many attributes with alot of emotions bottle up.She is stoical,determined,enigmatic,confident,aggressive and loving.She soars like an eagle and hunts like a hawk.The depth of the strength of a woman is astonishing ,aren't you proud to be a woman !Indeed Women were perfectly made by God.

If you are a Woman Please Stand UP!